


We Tried A Different Kink Every Day For A Week

by TheseusInTheMaze



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Crossdressing, Exhibitionism, Feeding Kink, Kink Experimentation, M/M, Stuffing, Vibrators, safe sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-06-24 14:50:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15632904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: Ryan and Shane agreed to do a series of videos. They might not have thought it through, though.





	1. Prelude

**Author's Note:**

> ... I saw the prompt and couldn't resist. Hope you guys enjoy!

“So,” said Shane, and he was smiling just a bit too widely, “we’re going to do the thing.”

“Which thing?”

Ryan leaned back into his chair, his hands behind his head.

“The kink thing.”

“Which kink thing?”

“The different kink each day thing,” said Shane.

“... we are?”

“We talked about this, last week, when they were asking for volunteers.”

“We did?”

Ryan needed to pay more attention during meetings, clearly.

“Yeah,” said Shane. “You said it would be fun, remember?”

The memory was starting to tickle the back of his brain.

Um.

Shit.

“Right,” said Ryan. 

“So we’ve devised a way to do it -”

“What do you mean, devised a way to do it?”

“We’re gonna have a hat with a list of stuff, and unless it’s a hard limit, we have to do it.”

“On camera?”

“Well, yeah, on camera,” said Shane. “That’s the point.”

Ryan sighed.

He’d agreed to all of this stuff, but it was… weird. 

But fuck it.

He’d known what he was getting into, when he’d signed up for the new channel, and fucked if he was gonna run away from a challenge. 

“Let’s do it,” he said.


	2. Stuffing/Feeding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So can pizza be sexy? The Ghoul Boys are going to find out!

“I feel like we’re participating in the Hunger Games,” Shane said, as the two of them watched the big fishbowl full of little folded up pieces of paper. 

“You watched that movie?”

“Why wouldn’t I watch it?”

“I dunno, you don’t strike me as a Hunger Games kinda guy.”

“So,” said Quinta, “which one of you are gonna pick it?”

“I’ll do it,” said Shane.

“You’d be the only one able to reach in the Hunger Games, with your longass arms,” said Ruan, crossing his arms across his chest, shifting from foot to foot.

He was nervous.

He was stupid nervous.

What if it was something gross?

What if it was something… especially weird?

They’d gotten rid of the stuff that was hard limits, so here it was. 

A giant bowl of kinks.

And Shane was just… reaching into the bowl, taking out a little slip of paper, and opening it.

And then he raised an eyebrow. 

“Is this a real kink?”

“Said so online.”

“Huh,” said Shane, and then he showed the little piece of paper to Ryan. 

The camera was fixed on both of them, and Ryan read it, carefully. 

“Stuffing? What is that? Like, human teddy bear play?”

“No,” said Shane. “It’s… feeding someone.”

“Feeding them? Like, sexy food?” 

“Nah,” said Shane. “Just… food. You feed them until they’re full, and people find it sexy. Being super full, or feeding someone like that….” 

“So just making someone eat a ton of food?”

“Yeah.”

“... huh,” said Ryan, and he rocked back on his heels, looking up at the ceiling. 

Hm.

“So I guess I’m gonna be the one doing the eating,” Shane said, “since you’ve got a delicate little baby stomach.”

“How much extra food are we going to need, to fill _you_ up?” 

“I mean, it could be argued we did a stuffing scene already,” Shane said, “in our Bigfoot episode.”

Ryan snorted. 

“That wasn’t supposed to be sexy,” he said. “This is supposed to be sexy. Sort of.”

“Do you have a stuffing kink I don’t know about?”

Shane made eye contact with the camera, a made a “can you believe this guy?” face.

Ryan snorted, and he rubbed his hands together. 

“Let’s do this shit,” he said. “Bring on the… what are we gonna do?”

“We probably shouldn’t go with the traditional strawberries and whipped cream, that kinda stuff.”

“So what were you thinking of?”

“That I’m not sure of yet. I’ll do some research.”

“See what gets the stuffers motors revving?”

“Something like that, yeah.”

“This is gonna be so messy,” said Ryan. 

“Yeah,” said Shane, “but will it give you a boner?”

“I guess we’ll see!”

* * *

And then they were on a set. 

They were on a set, and Ryan was sitting on a bed, cross legged, with Shane.

And they were both in just their boxers.

It was weird.

It was very weird, and Ryan wasn’t sure how he felt about this, but he’d been naked on camera at this point, so why think too deep into it? 

“You know, we’ve kinda done these kinda videos before,” said Shane.

He was leaning back against the headboard, his legs open, and he looked comfortable.

Of course he did. 

Shane always managed to look at ease in whatever he was doing.

“What, weird fetishy ones?”

“No,” said Shane. “Ones where we eat a bunch of stuff on camera.”

And then there were pizza boxes on the bed with them, and the camera was trained on them. 

Welp. 

“Are you ready to feed me some pizza?”

Shane was grinning.

“I’m ready,” said Ryan. “I don’t see how we could make this sexy, but then again, I do love me some pizza.”

He flipped the top of the pizza box open, and he whistled. 

Shane raised an eyebrow.

“That’s a lot of pepperoni,” he said. 

“You don’t like pepperoni?”

“I do, I just… like I said, could we go with a sexier food?”

Ryan shuffled closer, so that they were knee to knee, and then he was picking up a piece of pizza… and a long string of cheese stuck to the box, and he pulled it up. 

“What would count as a sexier food? I looked up a bunch of feeder videos, and pizza features heavily in them.”

“Did you make charts?”

Ryan raised an eyebrow, and he used both hands to guide the pizza into Shane’s mouth.

Shane took a bite, and began to chew.

“So… are you feeling a rush of arousal?”

Ryan’s voice was a little too chipper - he almost winced, because goddamn did he sound dumb.

“Not really,” said Shane. “Although it’s pretty good. How about you?”

“I mean, I kinda want some pizza.” 

“I’ll save you some,” said Shane, and then he was gently nibbling on Ryan’s fingertips.

Ryan blushed, and he let Shane suck on his fingers, tracing the tips along the blunt edges of Shane’s teeth. 

“Thanks,” said Ryan, and he was blushing.

“Are you getting turned on?”

Shane took another bite of pizza, and another, until he was all the way down to the bones.

Shane took those himself, 

“I mean, you’ve got my fingers in your mouth, which is hot, but I don’t think the pizza itself is getting me hard. Or seeing you eat it.”

“Right,” said Shane. “I mean… it’s not, like… turning me on. It’s intimate, which can be sexy, but… not, like, oh baby, oh baby.”

Ryan snorted, and he leaned in to kiss Shane, only blushing a little bit. 

He was still getting used to kissing Shane on camera.

It was… it was a nice kiss, and Shane tasted like pizza grease and pepperoni, and there was something almost nostalgic about it. 

He pulled back, and then he paused. 

“You’ve got a boner,” said Ryan, indicating Shane’s lap.

“Well, yeah, you’re kissing me,” said Shane. “That always gets me worked up.”

“No more kissing,” someone yelled off camera.

Ryan couldn’t tell who.

“But -”

“I feel like that is cheating,” Shane admitted. “Let’s at least wait until you’ve gotten me properly stuffed.”

“Properly stuffed?”

“See if you can get my belly to stick out,” said Shane. 

Ryan snorted.

“You watched too much Scooby Doo,” Ryan scolded, but he fed Shane another slice of pizza.

“Au contraire,” said Shane. “You didn’t watch _enough_ Scooby Doo.” 

Another slice of pizza - it was very quiet, but for Shane’s chewing. 

“Why do you say that?”

Shane took a slug of water, and he sighed, leaning back into the headboard. 

“Because you believe in actual ghosts,” said Shane. 

Then he belched.

Ryan made a face.

“Thanks for that,” he groused.

“Sorry,” said Shane. 

“Anyway,” said Ryan, “didn’t the later Scooby Doo series have actual ghosts and whatnot?”

“I mean, okay, but those were shit,” said Shane, and he opened his mouth for more pizza. “The also had Scrappy Doo.”

“They weren’t shit,”said Ryan. “How dare you badmouth Zombie Island! It didn’t have Scrappy!”

Shane snorted.

“I feel like we could make this sexier,” said Shane. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You watched all that feeder porn. What did they say?”

“Well, uh… can you feel how full you are, as I stuff you?”

It felt odd, to be speaking this stuff, but hey, maybe someone out there was jerking off, right?

Someone was finding this sexy, even if he, specifically, found it weird.

“I’m not full yet,” Shane said. “You should feed me more.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Well,” said Ryan, and he cleared his throat, “let’s, uh… let’s fill you up some more, huh?” 

“Sounds like a plan.” 

* * *

They - well, Shane - finished the first box of pizza, and began to make inroads on the second one.

It hadn’t… really gotten sexy yet.

Not that it was unsexy, per se.

Ryan was in some contemplative space, just feed slice after slice to Shane.

Shane face was getting shiny with grease, and he’d slowed his pace down.

“I can… kinda see the appeal,” Shane said, after he’d taken another slug of water, and was leaning back on the couch.

His belly wasn’t bulging out like something out of a cartoon, but when Ryan rested a hand on it, the skin was tighter than usual. 

“Yeah?”

“There’s something kinda… almost sexual about this,” Shane said, and his tone was thoughtful, his expression closer to spacey.

Eating god only knew how much pizza in one sitting could probably do that to a person.

He still ate the next bite of it, though, and he kissed Ryan’s fingers, because he could.

“Almost?”

“The near sexual pleasure of a full stomach,” said Shane. “As a sensory experience, it’s pretty great. But… it’s not really turning me on.”

“Do you wanna stop?”

“I think so, yeah,” said Shane, and he belched again, looking faintly embarrassed. 

“Do you want me to, like, blow you or something? I feel like people watching the video are gonna want some kind of something.”

“I guess you could see if the full belly enhances the experience or something,” Shane said, although he sounded a bit doubtful. 

“Can’t hurt to try it,” Ryan said, and he was sliding down the bed, which smelled like pizza grease.

_Everything_ smelled like pizza grease, unfortunately.

But here was Shane’s cock, and that, at least, was familiar. 

Ryan kissed it, right through the boxers, and Shane moaned, one hand resting on top of Ryan’s head.

“Do you want me to keep eating?”

Shane’s voice was muffled. 

“Is that part of it?”

“I’m getting a thumbs up from our producer, so I’m gonna take that as a yes,” said Shane, and then… he was taking out a slice of pizza, and he was chewing.

Ryan was kissing along someone’s dick while they were chewing.

Ryan paused, and he looked up at Shane.

Shane looked down at him, one eyebrow raised.

He had a drip of pizza grease on his cheek.

Ryan bit his lip to keep from laughing, and he rested one hand on Shane’s belly, pushing down the front of Shane’s underwear.

“You liar,” Ryan said, “you’ve got a half chub!”

“Not from the food,” Shane countered. “Just from, you know, the intimacy.”

“Your dick doesn’t lie,” said Ryan, and he wrapped a hand around it, gave it a loose pump.

“It has a mind of its own,” Shane said, and then more chewing.

… it was hard to find someone chewing sexy.

Maybe if they’d chosen a food that wasn’t fucking _pizza_ this would have been sexier, but… oh well.

Ryan wrapped his lips around Shane’s cock, and he began to suck, trying to ignore the sound of the chewing.

He rested a hand on Shane’s belly, and he rubbed it, cautiously, the way he’d seen in a few different pornos.

Shane was squirming, and then one greasy hand was on Ryan’s head.

Urgh.

“Shane,” Ryan said, and he looked up at Shane, making a face. “I’m gonna have to wash my hair.”

“You don’t wash your hair every day?!”

Shane looked faintly disgusted. 

“Says the man who just ate how much pizza?”

“For a video!”

Ryan pressed down on Shane’s belly, and Shane groaned, and then he was taking Shane’s cock back into his mouth, and he was just… sucking. 

He was sucking cock, and it was as wonderful as ever, albeit a bit weird, since they were on camera, and _everything_ smelled like pizza.

Ryan hadn’t even eaten any pizza, but he was sick of it.

He kept his hand on Shane’s belly, and he bobbed his head, doing things with his tongue that usually made Shane start twitching.

But Shane wasn’t humping Ryan’s face anymore, and Ryan pulled back, looking up at Shane.

“Are you not enjoying yourself?”

“Ryan, I don’t want to do anything but lie here,” Shane said, in a long suffering tone of voice. “I’ve eaten so much pizza I might actually die.”

“You want me to stop?”

“Nah,” said Shane. “I’m not gonna say no to an orgasm, but I don’t have it in me to be quite so… enthusiastic as I usually am.”

Ryan rolled his eyes, and he put his hands on Shane’s hips, then swallowed Shane down.

… the same way Shane was swallowing the pizza.

And now Ryan had to pull off, and he was cracking up, flat on his back on the bed.

“What’s so funny?”

“I can’t,” Ryan said, and he sat up, rubbing his eyes. “I’m sorry. We’ve tried the kink, but it’s just… it’s not for me.” 

He didn’t even know _why_ he was laughing so hard, this was all just so… fucking ridiculous. 

Why had he agreed to this?

… fuck it. 

Wasn’t even the weirdest shit he’d done, but… still. 

“I don’t think it’s for me either,” said Shane, and he gave a thumbs up to the camera. 

Ryan was still laughing, covering his face with both hands, trying to catch his breath. 

“I don’t know what you’re complaining about,” Shane grumbled, as he tried to sit up. “I’m going to be sweating grease for, like, a week.” 

“Tell ya what, big guy,” Ryan said, and he stretched, trying to uncramp himself. “Next thing we pull outta that fish bowl, I’ll do it. Promise. Okay?”

“I’m gonna hold you on that,” said Shane, and he stood up as well, then sat down quickly. “Urgh. I may… be a while.”

Ryan snorted.


	3. Crossdressing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Ryan's turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is now the second time I've written one of these boys in something femme. I feel like I'm possibly saying something about myself, although I'm not sure what.

Shane belched, and looked sheepish.

Ryan gave him a Look.

“Really, dude?”

“You try eating an entire pizza,” Shane said, and he was rubbing the back of his neck, looking sheepish.

“We should have filmed all of these at once anyway,” said Ryan. 

“Nah,” said Shane. “We were gonna make it a surprise, remember?”

“Yeah, but this still feels… weird,” said Ryan. “All ritualistic and shit.”

“At least it’s not as bad as some of the shit that Try Guys had to go through,” Shane said, and then he indicated the fish bowl. “You gonna take one out?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ryan grumbled, and he reached in, took out a little piece of paper out at random, then unfolded it, and squinted at it. 

And he blushed.

Um.

Shit.

“Well? Share, Bergara.”

Ryan held open the little scrap of paper, so that the camera (and SHane) could see it. 

_Crossdressing._

“At least we know the big guy looks good in a dress,” said Ryan, using one thumb to indicate Shane, and he was grinning.

“I dunno what you’re talking about,” said Shane, and he was grinning that big, easy grin of his. 

“Huh? Crossdressing is what we’ve got.”

“Well, yes, but you said you’d do the next one.”

Realization dawned on Ryan like a new day. 

“Wait, you’re expecting _me_ to wear a dress?”

“Basically, yeah,” said Shane. “Although I dunno, a mini skirt might suit you, since you’ve got such short legs.”

“Wouldn’t a miniskirt look better on longer legs?” 

“Nah. it’ll make your legs look nice. Besides, you’ve worn a lady’s swimsuit on camera. How is this any different?”

“It’s… that was for a video.”

“So was this.”

“Yeah, but… different,” said Ryan.

He was blushing.

He was aware he was blushing.

He was blushing so hard his face was starting to hurt. 

Sort of.

Oh god.

He was gibbering.

Gibber gibber gibber.

Huh.

“Ry?”

Shane sounded faintly concerned.

“What’s up?”

“I’m gonna need to shave my legs,” Ryan said. 

“I mean, you don’t have to,” said Shane. “Your legs look pretty good to begin with.”

“Yeah,” said Ryan, “but they’d look better shaved. And I need to find a dress to wear.”

“Can’t you borrow one from props?”

“No,” said Ryan. “Otherwise, I’m going to have to replace it, since we got the “no cum on the props” rule, once we started the whole “Buzzfeed Scarlet” channel.”

“Oh,” said Shane. “Right. I forgot about that.”

Ryan rubbed the back of his neck, glanced over at Shane. 

Shane was looking at him with a slightly worried expression. 

“Are you okay?” 

“Yeah,” Ryan said, and he cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry. Just, uh… wasn’t expecting this outcome.”

“You did say you’d go along with the next one,” said Shane. “But you don’t have to go… y’know, whole hog.”

“I feel like, with the sheer amount of pizza you ate yesterday, that I at least owe you some kind of effort.” 

“You don’t want to _know_ what that pizza did to my insides,” Shane said, and he made a face. 

Ryan made a face.

“I do know,” he told Shane. “You were texting me. Like, all night.”

“Well,” said Shane, and he clapped a hand on Ryan’s shoulder, “you can text me as you’re working on those legs of yours.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

* * *

Ryan stood just off camera, and he watched Shane sit on the bed and monologue.

It wasn’t much of a monologue - a bit of history on crossdressing, his own history on it.

And now Ryan was psyching himself up to go into Shane’s line of sight, in this whole… get up, to get fucked on camera. 

Why’d he agree to this?

Why did he decide to do this in the first place?

Why did he join Buzzfeed, let alone Buzzfeed Scarlet, let alone… all of this.

He groaned, and then he fixed his face into a camera ready look (for as long as that lasted, until he was no doubt screaming into the camera as Shane made him see the faces of gods that didn’t exist. 

He rubbed his hands together, and he walked on camera.

* * *

“And here comes… oh.”

“I know, I look kind of dumb,” Ryan said. 

He was wearing an orange dress, made of some kind of… flouncy fabric. 

It had pleats, and thin straps. 

He didn’t really have the boobs to make it fit properly, but… it wasn’t too bad.

It was weird, to have all this air on his thighs, to have all the air going up around his junk.

Shane was looking at him wide eyed.

“Um,” said Ryan, and he was blushing. “Please say something.”

“I think… I think this might be a thing,” Shane said. 

He sounded faintly stunned.

“What, already? We haven’t done anything.”

“Sometimes you look at something and know it’s a thing,” Shane said, and he sounded faintly defensive. 

“Are you… sure?”

“I mean, far be it from me to not test something,” said Shane, and his expression was borderline _gleeful_. “I am a staunch proponent of the scientific method.”

“I can’t believe you just said that,’ Ryan said, his voice deadpan.

He walked to the bed, though, and then his knees were pressed against Shane’s, and his hands were going Shane’s face. 

“You look… _fucking amazing_ ,” Shane said, and his hands were on Ryan’s hips. “This is totally a kink I have.”

“What, crossdressing?”

“Definitely you crossdressing,” said Shane.

“Well,” said Ryan, “maybe you should, uh, you should test it.”

“Test it?”

Shane raised an eyebrow. 

“You know.” said Ryan. “The whole scientific method.” 

“Right,” said Shane, and his hands were sliding down, the calluses on his palms catching on the airy, floaty fabric. 

Ryan was blushing very hard, and one of the cameras had to be catching that, but then Ryan was kissing Shane, because if he was kissing Shane, he didn’t have to think about anything else.

He let Shane’s hands roam lower, as they slid under his skirt, and then there was a hand under his skirt, and he was shuddering, as Shane’s hands spread out across his ass, over the lacy panties. 

“Really?”

Shane looked amused. 

“What?”

“You’re wearing panties,” Shane said, and his hand moved around to Ryan’s front, one long finger slid under the elastic at the legs.

It was pretty nice, honestly - the elastic squeezed him in ways and places he wasn’t exactly… used to, and Shane’s finger relieved some of it.

There was more… pressure than usual, but that was… to be expected.

Um.

“I said I’d commit,” Ryan said. “C’mon, the Try Guys wear women’s underwear all the time.”

“Not usually with boners,” said Shane. 

He was tracing along the front now, just the outline of Ryan’s erection, and Ryan’s hands tightened on Shane’s shoulders.

Shane winced.

“Ow,” he said. 

“Sorry,” said Ryan. “I forgot what a delicate flower you are.”

Shane snorted, and he grabbed the hem of the skirt, shoving it up, so that his ass (in the goddamn panties) was bared to the camera.

“Who’s the delicate flower now?”

“Listen,” Ryan said, and he reached up, his fingers tangling in Shane’s hair, forcing Shane’s head back, “I’m not a delicate flower, regardless of what kind of underwear I’m wearing. Got it?”

“Got it, got it,” Shane said, his voice was breathless. “Do that again?”

“I think you’ve got a thing for being dominated,” Ryan said, his tone teasing. 

“One kink at a time,” their producer called from off screen.

Ryan snorted, and he leaned in again, kissing Shane, harder this time, and Shane pulled him close, holding on to Ryan’s ass with both hands, pulling Ryan closer.

“We’ll talk about it later,” Shane said, and then he was pulling Ryan down onto the bed, on top of him.

Ryan was straddling Shane, his knees pressed into Shane’s sides, and Shane was groping his cock through the panties, under the skirt.

It wasn’t… organic, per se. 

They were on camera, and they couldn’t be their usual goofy selves.

Although Ryan was trying not to giggle, because shit was popping into his head at random, because of course it was.

He always got stupid ideas at weird moments.

He leaned in, his mouth right at Shane’s ear, and he whispered, “do you think any ghosts are watching?”

And Shane burst out laughing.

It was honking, cackling laughter, unlovely, and then Ryan was laughing too, pressing his forehead against Shane’s. 

“How about you ride my dick in your pretty dress?”

Ryan gave a full body shudder, and he licked his lips.

“That’s workable,” said Ryan, and that brought on another burst of laughter.

“Workable,” Shane said, and he was still chuckling.

“What?”

“Should I say doable?” 

Shane was reaching out with one long arm, groping along the bed, and coming back with… lube. 

Lube and condoms.

“Were you keeping lube and condoms in your pillow?!”

“I mean,” said Shane, “it’s not _my_ pillow. It technically belongs to Buzzfeed.”

“Of course it does,” Ryan sighed, and then he was shifting, as Shane’s fingers slid under his panties, gently probing. 

“You’re very wriggly,” Shane said, as he pulled his hands away for a minute, and then… they were back.

And cold.

Shane’s fingers were coated in lube, and two of them were sliding inside of Ryan, a sweet, tense stretch.

“You’re fingering my ass,” Ryan said. “What, you want me to stay still?”

“No, no, movement is good,” said Shane, and he was pressing kisses along Ryan’s neck. 

Ryan had shaved himself carefully - Shane’s stubble was ticklish, dragging across the skin. 

Ryan’s toes curled against Shane’s sides. 

“I think… the dress is gonna block the good stuff,” Ryan said. 

“We’re not explicitly a hardcore channel, y’know,” Shane said. “We’ve got other… other appeals.”

Ryan snorted, and then he made another shocked noise, his hips jerking forward, because okay, yeah, that was his prostate, oh god, Shane was pressing on his prostate with a fingertip, and Shane’s cock was twitching in his sweatpants, right up against Ryan’s thigh.

“Well, yeah, but we’ve got a bunch of hardcore stuff,” said Ryan.

“That gets it philosophical, though - at what point do we become a hardcore channel?”

“Ryan?”

Shane’s voice was right in Ryan’s ear, and Shane was adding a third finger.

Ryan shuddered, clenching around Shane’s fingers.

“Mm?”

“Our producer is making “get on with it” movements over your shoulder. You ready?”

Ryan took stock. 

His cock was still hard, throbbing in the panties, and his ass felt… well, it felt about ready to ride some dick.

To ride Shane’s dick, specifically. 

“I’m ready,” Ryan said.

He had to get up on his knees, and there was more surreptitious rummaging around under the skirt, putting on the condom, but then… oh, fuck, Ryan was just sinking down onto Shane’s cock, and that was… that was good.

That was the kind of good that made him incapable of witty banter, made it impossible for him to do much for the camera, he just… took it.

He put his hands on Shane’s shoulders, and the fabric of the dress fluttered around his thighs, and was loose enough that his sweat just… dripped down his back, to pool in the waistband of the panties, which wasn’t exactly pleasant, but then Shane was sliding a hand down between them, into the panties, pulling Ryan’s dick free, and okay… okay.

Fuck.

Ryan was breathing Shane’s breath (okay, so not the most pleasant thing ever), and then he was beginning to shake, clenching around Shane’s cock, and then his cock was beginning to swell, to twitch in Shane’s hand, and his ass was clenching harder, and then… he was cumming.

The pleasure was sweet and it was hot, throbbing up his back, through his cock, spreading along between his shoulder blades, leaving him limp and shaking.

Ryan came, embarrassingly fast, his whole body on edge, his toes curling and his hips working.

“Ry,” Shane said, and then his voice broke. “Ryan, fuck, I’m not gonna last, fuck, I….” 

“Do it,” Ryan said, right in Shane’s ear, “do it.”

And Shane came.

Shane came inside of the condom, inside of Ryan, and then he flopped backwards, looking straight up at Ryan, his expression dopey. 

“I’m glad I got my own dress,” said Ryan. “I wouldn’t want to have to give this back to the prop people.”

“So,” their producer called from off camera, “how do you guys feel about crossdressing?”

“I think I’m for it,” said Ryan. “I mean, uh… it’s nice.”

Shane gave a ragged thumbs up. 

“So that’s one for two!” 

“Don’t sound so smug.” 

Shane snorted.


	4. Iceplay

“So this time I get to inflict it on you,” said Ryan. 

He was practically cackling.

“You’re just jealous that I’m gonna take it better than you are,” said Shane, and he was smirking. 

Of course he was smirking.

He was always smirking, the jerk. 

"You don't know that," said Ryan, and he watched as Shane fished around inside of the fishbowl. 

"I'm pretty sure," said Shane. "I think of you holding a... paddle, or something like that, and I just start snickering."

"That's not my problem, that's a problem with your imagination," said Ryan, watching Shane's long fingers burrow through the assorted papers. "You're gonna get a paper cut if you keep doing that."

"You'll kiss it better, won't you?"

Ryan snorted. 

Since they'd joined Buzzfeed Scarlet, Shane had gotten a lot more... blatant in his flirting.

Who knew he had so much... well... that, hidden in all those long limbs.

"Just take out the paper, asshole."

"Yeah, yeah," Shane said, and then he was indeed, taking out a little slip of paper, opening it up, and... his eyebrows were going up.

Then he was snickering.

"It's a good thing that I'm on the receiving end this time, huh?"

"Hm?"

Ryan held out a hand for the little slip of paper, and Shane put it in his hand.

_Iceplay._

Huh.

"That's a thing?"

"I dunno," said Shane. "If it's in the fishbowl, it's a thing."

"What... is it?"

"I assume it means what it says on the tin," said Shane. "We play with ice."

"So I'm gonna apply ice to bits of you?"

"I think that if I tried to apply ice to you, you might _die_ ," said Shane, "since you're such a delicate little California wildflower."

"Shut up, Shane," said Ryan. 

Shane snickered.

"Luckily, I'm prepared for this."

"What?"

"I'm from Chicago, remember? It gets _cold_."

"What, were you shoving icicles up your butt or something?"

"I mean, no, but I'd be able to take it better than you could."

"Are you so sure? You've said you haven't done it!"

"Yeah, but I don't shrink away from the cold like some kind of violet," said Shane.

"I do _not_ shrink away like some kind of violet!"

"I guess we'll see, huh?"

"What do you mean, we'll see? It's your turn to get iced up."

"When you put it like that, I feel like you're going to put me in, like, a giant ice bath or something like that," said Shane. "As far as I know, that's not ice play."

"I could tie you up and stick you in a snowbank," said Ryan.

"Okay, first, where would you get a snowbank?"

"I could probably find one, if I tried," said Ryan.

Shane snorted.

"But also," said Shane, "we're only supposed to do one kink at a time. Tying me up would count as another kink."

"I mean, _technically_ ," Ryan said.

"Weren't you the one that said that once you get into "technically," it's not a good sign?"

Shane had crossed his arms, and he looked _smug_.

Asshole.

"I was talking about incest," said Ryan. "Not about tying you up."

"I feel like that makes it worse," said Shane, and he made a face.

Ryan tried to keep a straight face, but soon he was beginning to giggle, then to wheeze.

"I hate you," he told Shane, but he was still cackling like a hyena.

* * *

They were back at the bed.

At least they'd changed the sheets.

"They should burn the mattress, at the end of all of this," said Ryan.

Shane was stretched out on the bed, his hands behind his head, and he was naked.

He was a lot more comfortable being naked on camera, although it helped that there would be some heavy editing.

But there was Shane, stretched out like a goddamn yeti, all long limbs and pale skin. 

Ryan wanted to put his mouth on all of those various bits, and his heart began to beat a little faster.

God, Shane was pretty. 

It wasn't fair.

The ice was in a big white cooler, and it was full of ice cubes.

They'd apparently bought a whole lot of ice, then _made_ a whole bunch of ice.

"So how do we do this?"

"I'm gonna touch you with a lot of ice, and you're gonna see if it turns you on. Or, I guess, if it turns me on."

"You torturing me always turns you on," Shane said, in an amused tone of voice.

Ryan snorted, and he straddled Shane, sitting on Shane's belly.

Shane grunted, making a face.

"You're heavy," he told Ryan. 

"This is easier," he said.

The camera was moving around the both of them, but by now, they were better at ignoring it.

Ryan reached into the cooler, awkwardly, and he took out an ice cube.

It was cold, slippery between his fingers.

He... held it for a second, and then he began to drag it across Shane's chest.

Shane's weedy chest looked particularly... shiny, with the little scum of water already across it.

Shane was squirming, and he was breathing heavily, his arms going tense as he grabbed at his hair.

"You doing okay?" 

Ryan made his tone... solicitous, and Shane gave him a Look. 

"Doing great," Shane said.

Ryan pressed the ice cube against Shane's nipple.

Shane groaned, a long, drawn out groan.

"You sure?"

"See, that? That was like bad cunnilingus."

"... what?"

"Like bad cunnilingus," said Shane, his tone dogged. "Because... because you just go straight for the clit."

"Your nipples are like a clit," Ryan said, his tone flat.

He switched nipples, and Shane's whole body broke out in goosebumps. 

It was cold enough that Shane's skin was turning a little pink. 

Huh.

Sometimes, Ryan forgot just how _white_ Shane was. 

Go figure. 

"I mean, not literally, but it's just... going for the money shot. With something like this, you gotta get me all worked up first."

"Do I, now?"

So Ryan lifted up the ice, and he pressed it right up against Shane's temple, where the hair was delicate and the skin was thin.

Shane shuddered, a full body shudder, and his skin twitched like a horse's.

... that was a little unsettling.

"That's giving me brain freeze, Ryan," Shane said, his voice thick.

"I didn't give you brain freeze," said Ryan, and he moved the ice away from Shane's temple, to trace it across Shane's lips gently, almost like he was applying lipstick.

Shane's tongue darted out, collecting some of the melted moisture, and Ryan pressed the (much diminished) cube into Shane's mouth.

He held the cube against the roof of Shane's mouth, his knuckles against Shane's tongue.

Shane was drooling down Ryan's wrist, and that was... a little gross, but he liked the noises Shane was making.

And then Shane made a face, his whole body tensing up.

Shane mumbled something, and Ryan withdrew his fingers.

"What?"

"I said," Shane said, and he was holding his temples now, "you gave me a brain freeze."

Ryan snickered.

The ice was completely gone now.

Huh.

He'd have to get some more ice, but he'd have to, like, reach for it.

Hmm.

He leaned over, holding on with his knees, and he grabbed a handful of ice, running it along Shane's chest, then... shoved a cube into Shane's armpit.

"Oh my god, I fucking hate you," Shane groaned, and he was practically _thrashing,_ , as Ryan held him in place. 

Ryan was cackling.

"You're a jerk, I hate you," Shane said, and he was gabbling, as Ryan shoved another ice cube in the same spot.

"Is that you saying "stop"?"

"No, it's saying you're a jerk and I hate you," grumbled Shane.

Ryan grinned, and he ran the ice cube along Shane's armpit again, a little harder this time.

"Oh god," said Shane, and he was still wriggling.

Ryan had to hold on with his knees.

"Are you ticklish? Because I thought we were only supposed to do one kink at a time."

Ryan moved a different, dripping piece of ice up towards the soft spot under Shane's jaw, as Shane grabbed at the headboard again.

He was shaking.

"I'm not ticklish, it just feels _weird_ ," Shane grumbled.

"It can't feel that weird," said Ryan.

"How about you put some ice in _your_ armpit," Shane groused.

"You said it yourself," said Ryan. "I'm a big weenie. I can't take the cold."

"I didn't call you a weenie," said Shane. "Just... a wilting flower."

"I am _not_ a wilting flower," Ryan said, and then he put the melting ice cube behind Shane's ear, because he could.

Shane made a noise with a whole lot of vowels, his skin rippling, and then he groaned like he was in intense pain.

"What happened to being able to take it, hm?"

Ryan kept his tone friendly, although there was some smug sneaking in.

He couldn't help it!

There was just something so... gratifying about seeing Shane writhing and gasping and sobbing like this.

Seeing just how miserable he was, while still squirming.

... okay, so maybe Ryan was a bit of a sadist.

It was always interesting, to learn new things about yourself.

Although his hands were getting cold.

Ryan grabbed another piece of ice, and he shoved it into his own mouth, then leaned forward, kissing Shane on the mouth.

He kept the kisses close mouthed at first, his fingers sliding into Shane's hair, and Shane shuddered against him, as Ryan's cold fingers slid across his warm scalp, and his hips rose up.

His tongue was swiping at Ryan's mouth, but Shane was still holding on to the headboard, keeping himself exposed.

There was something dizzying about it, some kind of power over Shane that was almost like being drunk.

Ryan opened his mouth, and he transferred the lice cube into Shane's mouth, swiping his own tongue against Shane's, and Shane moaned, shuddering.

It was an interesting contrast - cold ice, warm skin - and Shane's hips were rolling, making it harder to hold on.

When Ryan pulled back, he looked down at Shane, who was still shivering a bit, his eyes heavy lidded.

"How you doing, big guy?"

"Tomorrow, I am going to do some truly horrible things to you," he told Ryan.

"What kind of horrible are we talking?"

"That I don't know yet," said Shane.

"I mean," Ryan said, "if this is too much for you, I'm sure I could find it in me to go easier...."

He trailed a hand along Shane's ribs, and Shane shuddered some more.

"No," Shane said, and then, a bit more forcefully. "No, I can take it."

"You sure? You look a bit frazzled."

Shane snorted.

"I'm doing great," he told Ryan.

"Yeah?"

"Oh yeah."

Ryan pressed another piece of ice into his mouth, and then he grabbed Shane's hair, forcing Shane's head to the side and kissing along Shane's neck, pressing the cold ice against Shane's neck, rasping along the stubble.

"Oh god," Shane mumbled, and he was full on shaking, as Ryan moved along, towards the Adam's apple.

It bobbed when Shane swallowed, and Ryan grinned, licking with his cold tongue, some of the cold water drooling out of his mouth. 

"Ew," Shane mumbled.

"What?"

"You just _licked_ me," Shane said, and he sounded faintly offended. 

"Dude," said Ryan, "I've been kissing you. How is that any different?"

"When you kiss me, I can't, like, feel your tongue moving over me," said Shane.

"Oh my god, Shane," said Ryan, and then he was laughing.

He couldn't help it.

Shane just looked so... offended, which was fucking hilarious.

"You're such a weirdo," said Ryan.

"Says the guy who has a boner from applying ice to various sensitive bits of my anatomy," said Shane.

"Says the guy who has a boner from having ice applied to various sensitive bits of his anatomy," Ryan fired back.

"I mean," Shane said, "I can't really argue that point. I never did say that I _wasn't_ a weirdo."

"I thought it was at least a little bit implied."

"Things aren't always what they're implied," said Ryan, reaching into the cooler for more ice.

Some of the ice was beginning to melt.

They'd have to be careful, or he'd have to get an intern to get him more ice, and that would just... be awkward.

As if fucking around on camera like this wasn't already kind of awkward.

Oh well.

He took more ice, and he scooted lower along Shane's torso, until Shane's cock was pressed against his ass.

Hm.

He reached back around, and then... he pressed an ice cube to the head of Shane's cock.

And Shane made a very, very undignified noise, and his cock began to get soft.

"Ryan, that's not sexy, I'm just... goddamn it, Ryan," Shane said, and he was still squirming.

"I thought you were good for the cold," Ryan said, his tone sweet as he ran the ice cube along the shaft of Shane's cock. "You're from Chicago, you're all about the cold, right?"

Shane's cock, which was going soft. 

"Ryan, I'm not sticking my dick in a goddamn... snow bank, oh my god, Ryan," said Shane, and he was still wriggling.

Ryan moved the ice lower, right up against Shane's balls, and Shane made another undignified noise.

"It can't be that bad, can it?"

"How about we switch places, huh?"

Shane was really shaking, and Ryan... moved lower, pressing the ice cube against Shane's taint.

It was barely an ice cube now - Ryan had to get another one, and Shane gave a little breath of relief when it was gone, only to groan again, when it was pressed harder.

Shane groaned, a long, drawn out noise.

"This is evil," he told Ryan. 

"You think you can get hard again?"

"Not with the ice cube against my dick!"

"Can I put an ice cube in your ass?"

"I feel like that would be a really unpleasant way of giving me an enema, personally," said Shane. 

"As opposed to all the pleasant ways of giving someone an enema," Ryan snarked.

"There are plenty of ways to give someone an enema that aren't unpleasant," Shane said.

Ryan paused, and he gave Shane a Look, one eyebrow up.

"I do my research," Shane said, slightly defensive.

"Do you, now?"

"We're here to do ice play, not talk about enemas," Shane said, and okay, his tone was even more defensive.

Ryan snickered, and he wedged the (rapidly melting) ice right under Shane's balls, then leaned forward again, to kiss Shane on the mouth, grinding his cock against Shane's belly.

"You are such a sadist," Shane said, right up against Ryan's mouth.

"Evidently," Ryan said. "Although maybe I'm just a sadist when it comes to you, since... it's kind of hilarious, seeing you squirm like this."

"So you've got a hilarity boner?"

"I guess so."

"I didn't know that was even a thing."

Ryan snickered, and then he was... standing up, pulling the cooler closer, so that he could grab some more ice. 

"I'm going to put this some more interesting places," he told Shane.

"What kind of interesting places are we talking about here?"

Shane sounded faintly nervous.

"You'll see," Ryan said, and he sounded positively _gleeful_ as he said it.

... okay, maybe he was getting into this.

But for now....

"Okay, that's a thing we're doing," Shane said, sounding faintly nonplussed, as Ryan grabbed him by the ankle, pulling him to the edge of the bed. "Fuck, I forget how strong you are."

"How can you forget, when I'm packing all of these guns?"

Ryan flexed, mainly for comedic effect. 

Shane rolled his eyes.

Ryan looked over at Shane, wearing an interested expression.

Hm.

Where could he put ice?

... backs of the knees.

That was always an interesting spot.

Shane was no longer holding on to the headboard - he had his hands behind his head, and was leaning back into the bed, looking like some kind of debauched Roman senator out of one of the weirder pornos.

Ryan was grinning, and Shane was eyeing him.

"... that look makes me nervous," said Shane.

"What about it makes you nervous?"

"That's the look you always get when you're about to plan something particularly dumb," said Shane. "That's the underwater Area 51 look."

"You're never gonna let me live that one down, are you?"

"Nope, because it was so fuckin' stupid."

Ryan took another piece of ice, and he grabbed Shane by the ankle, forcing one leg up.

He slid the ice cube along the line of Shane's calf, all the way to the back of Shane's knee, and then he just... kept it there.

"Oh god," Shane groaned. "Fuck. Oh fuck."

"It can't be that bad, you big baby," Ryan said, and he swirled the ice, just because he could.

Shane was squirming again.

Shane also had an erection.

His cock had apparently forgiven him for the whole ice thing. 

Good to know.

Ryan was tempted to do it again, but... no.

That would be mean.

He might have been enjoying himself, but there was a time and a place, wasn't there?

Shane groaned again, and he was trembling.

"You want me to suck you off?"

Ryan said it casually, even though he was blushing. 

It was... it was taking some getting used to, being open about sex like this on camera.

Not that anyone was going to see this, who didn't want to see it.

They were making a _lot_ of money with Buzzfeed Scarlet, and people were willing to pay the premium to get access to it. 

But... goddamn was it a bit nerve wracking sometimes.

"Are you offering?"

"I am," said Ryan. "Although, uh... I might wanna try something else, too."

"What kind of something else are we talking about?"

Shane looked faintly nervous.

"Well, I won't be giving you an ice water enema," Ryan said.

"Good to know," said Shane. "I wasn't really worried about that until you said that."

"You literally just said you were worried about that," Ryan said. 

"... fair. Listen, I've got an erection, and I've got melting ice water literally _all_ over me." 

"So if I want to get you to behave on Unsolved shoots, I just need to turn you on and get you cold?"

"Ryan, some of the stupid shit you say could probably break me out of a coma, let alone a mess of arousal."

"I don't know if I'm touched or insulted," said Ryan, and then he was letting go of Shane, to go to the condoms they had, just out of focus, as well as the bottle of lube.

"I'd go with touched," said Shane. "Think of it like this - if I ever end up in a situation where I've got berserker rage, just start spouting your stupid theories...."

"I can't imagine you going into berserker rage, personally." 

“I could _totally_ go into a berserker rage,” said Shane.

He sounded remarkably blase, but then again… well, this was Shane.

“I can’t see you mustering that much emotion,” said Ryan.

He was shoving ice cubes into the condom - thank god they’d gotten the rounded ones, or he would have been worried.

But no, it was all good.

He was just… shoving ice into the condom, and then he was tying the condom up, and then he was dripping lube on the condom.

“I feel like I’m not going to like this,” Shane said, in a voice as dry as old bones.

“Not with that attitude, you won’t,” Ryan agreed, and he lubed up two fingers, pressing them into Shane.

Shane sighed, spreading his knees a little wider, letting Ryan’s fingers in, letting himself open up.

He was always… pretty like this, when he was just letting himself take pleasure.

Shane had a lovely, if strange face, and it was just… beautiful, watching it do things as Ryan twisted his fingers, finding Shane’s prostate and tapping it.

Shane’s cock was twitching, and oh god, the camera was focusing on it, and Shane’s cock was dripping, the way it always did.

“You think you’re ready?”

“I think so, although I’m not sure what it is that I’m ready for.”

And then Ryan was sliding the ice filled condom into Shane’s ass.

Shane froze.

Full on froze.

He wasn’t moving, and Ryan paused, looking down, holding on to the condom.

“Are you okay?”

“That’s cold,” Shane said, in a very flat voice.

“I mean, it’s a bunch of ice cubes in a condom,” said Ryan, and he kept his hands on the condom, because… well, losing it would be awkward.

Although he’d go to the hospital with Shane about it, obviously.

… and now Ryan was snickering, as he fucked Shane with the condom full of ice, although the ice was already starting to melt.

“How does it feel?”

“Cold,” Shane said again. 

“Do you have anything else to say?”

Ryan pushed the condom a little deeper, and Shane’s back arched, heels digging into the mattress, and oh, but that was a pretty picture.

Shane’s cock was still hard, pressed against his belly, pointed towards his chin, and he was… lifting his hips up, humping into the ice, and that was… this was all very weird, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, until Shane was crying out, his whole body tensing.

“Ry?”

“Mmm?”

Ryan was still holding on to the condom.

“I think the ice melted.”

“Do you want me to get some more?”

“I’d rather you just fuck me,” said Shane. “If you’re up for that?”

“Yeah, uh, sure, just… gimme a minute.”

* * *

It took a few minutes - Ryan had to put on a condom, lube himself up, throw out the condom now full of tepid water… okay. 

Ryan grabbed another handful of ice, and just… dropped it on Shane’s belly.

Shane made an indignant noise, and then he gasped, because Ryan was pushing in.

“Aw, Shane, you’re still cold inside,” Ryan said.

“A thousand pardons,” Shane said, his voice flat. 

Ryan began to run the ice across Shane’s chest, his eyes on Shane’s face, as he began to roll his hips.

“God,” Ryan said, “okay, now you’re warming up… that feels… fuck.”

“Hmm?”

Shane’s legs were around Ryan’s middle, and Ryan was full on… fucking Shane.

It was porn star fucking, and Ryan would be embarrassed, except he was a bit too into this.

He grabbed more ice, and he shoved it into Shane’s mouth, and Shane was just... sucking on it, sucking on the ice, sucking on his Ryan’s fingers, and Shane’s knees had somehow ended up on Ryan’s shoulders.

He was about to cum, Shane was going to cum very hard, how the fuck was he going to cum, oh fuck….

Shane’s cock was beginning to swell, Shane’s cock was beginning to throb, and it was… hot, oh god, and Shane was cumming, which was squeezing Ryan, and then Ryan… oh god.

Ryan came.

It was embarrassing, and it was a lot faster than he planned, but Shane… Shane’s face, god, he had a beautiful face when he came, and how could Ryan resist it, really?

The ice had melted in Shane’s mouth, although is his tongue was still cold, and he was still sucking on Ryan’s fingers, looking faintly embarrassed.

“Fuck,” Ryan said, and his voice cracked.

“What, again?”

Shane’s voice was garbled. 

Ryan rolled his eyes.

“So what did you guys think?”

It was called from off camera, and Ryan looked over his shoulder, gave an awkward thumbs up.

“Can you put ice in Ryan’s butt next time, maybe?”

Shane propped himself up on his elbows, looking down at his belly (cum covered), and made a face.

“I’ll be on the receiving end next time,” Ryan said, pulling his cock out carefully, holding on to the condom.

“Oh yeah,” said Shane, and then he shivered. 

“Still cold?”

“A little, yeah.”

“Are you sure you’re not a delicate flower too?”

“Oh, fuck off.” 

Ryan kissed Shane, because he could, and Shane kissed him back.

Shane's mouth was still cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't stick ice cubes up your butt without some kind of protection. It'll be a bad time.


	5. Vibrators

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> +5 to anyone who can name which vibrator is which!

“I think you gave me frostbite in my butt,” Shane said the next day, as the two of them stood in front of the camera, waiting for the fishbowl to be wheeled out.

“I did not give you frostbite in your butt,” said Ryan. “You’re hot enough inside that the ice lasted for all of, like, two seconds.”

“So you think I’m hot, huh?”

Shane raised an eyebrow.

Ryan snorted, crossed his arms across his chest.

“I mean, we’ve had sex how many times on camera?”

“That could be acting,” Shane pointed out.

“Are you just being a dick for the sake of being a dick?”

“No, I’m being a dick partially just to wind you up,” Shane said, in a flat tone.

“Well, yes, isn’t that being a dick to be a dick?”

“Nah,” said Shane. “If I was being a dick to be a dick, I’d just… be a dick. Your reactions wouldn’t matter.”

“Why are you telling me all of your secrets? On camera, no less?”

“I’m feeling generous,” said Shane. “Maybe all of the ice up my butt mellowed me out.”

Ryan snorted.

“So what, I should stick ice up your butt every time you’re being obnoxious?”

“You’d probably need to save it for special occasions, or else it might lose some of its oomph. Y’know, like how horses get hard mouths.”

“... the fuck are you talking about?”

“If you pull on the reins of a horse too often,” said Shane, “it starts being able to ignore it, so they refer to it as having a “hard” mouth.”

“Oh. Huh. Didn’t know that.”

There was a pause, then Ryan shot Shane a slightly confused look.

“Wait a second. _How_ do you know that?”

“I read a lot of historical shit. Horses were _the_ way to get around for a long time, and everyone was talking about them.”

"Whose turn is it to reach into the fishbowl this time?"

"Mine," said Ryan, and he reached down and into the bowl, picking out a random slip of paper.

"So, what are we doing today? Role play? Weird sex toys?"

"Vibrators," read Ryan.

"What, like... vibrator vibrators?"

"Yeah," said Ryan, and he handed the piece of paper to Shane.

Shane looked down at it, one eyebrow up.

"Doesn't everyone like vibrators?"

"Some people don't," said Ryan, and he was rubbing his hands together, looking nervous. "I mean... some people view them as kinky."

"I guess," said Shane, "but isn't that a given? Almost everyone has an orgasm from a vibrator."

"Well," said Ryan, "maybe there's weirder vibrators out there."

"What kind of weird vibrators?"

"That I don't know," said Ryan. "Let me think about it."

"I'm looking forward to it," said Shane, his tone cheerful.

The jerk.

"So... vibrators?"

"I'm kind of curious if everyone has experience with them," said Shane. "I know we both filled out that survey saying that we didn't have much experience with it, so that's why it was in there in the first place."

"I feel like most people have," said Ryan.

Why was he so embarrassed by this?

It wasn't even that weird, all things considered.

Vibrators versus ice, or wearing a dress?

This was... practically vanilla.

Unless he was missing something.

Or maybe he was overthinking this?

"I wonder how many vibrators they're gonna have," Shane said, his tone thoughtful.

"You think there'll be a bunch of different kinds?"

"Oh yeah," said Shane. "Wouldn't be Buzzfeed without a whole bunch of options."

Ryan snorted.

"This is gonna be... interesting," he said, and he tried to keep the trepidation out of his voice.

"Worst case scenario, it'll go weird, and we can laugh it off," said Shane, and he leaned against Ryan, one elbow on Ryan's shoulder.

Ryan prodded Shane in the shoulder.

Shane made an indignant noise, but he poked back.

* * *

Ryan and Shane sat on the bed, and there was a collection of... stuff between them.

They were both more or less naked - Shane had on a pair of boxers, Ryan was wearing black briefs.

The stuff between them was mostly plastic, with a tangle of wires mixed in.

"So what experience do you have with vibrators?"

Shane was idly fiddling with one of the toys - it was a small little bullet vibrator, about the size of Ryan's thumb.

"I had a girlfriend who liked me to use them on her occasionally," said Ryan, and he smiled - it was a fond memory. "She only had the little ones like that one, though."

Shane pressed a little button on the edge of the bullet, and it started to buzz.

"I had a girlfriend with something a bit bigger," said Shane. "I read somewhere that you're supposed to check how deep a vibrator can buzz."

"How... deep?"

"Yeah," said Shane. "Different vibrators... penetrate differently."

"Penetrate," Ryan said, his tone flat.

"Yeah, hold on," said Shane, and he reached out, and _pressed the fucking vibrator right up against Ryan's nose_ , what the fuck

Ryan made a very undignified noise, and he jerked his head back, rubbing his nose.

That was... unpleasant.

Immensely unpleasant.

His... sinuses were buzzing, and god but that was....

Ryan rubbed his nose, wrinkling his nose.

"Why did you put that on my nose?!"

"That's how you're supposed to check how deep it penetrates," Shane said, his tone mild.

"Why the nose?"

"Because it doesn't have any bones, so it'll feel similar to how it'd feel on your junk. It's not like you can put a vibrator on your junk at a store," said Shane.

"Yeah, but your nose is also on your face, and it's full of things like sinuses," said Ryan, making a face.

His whole face was still buzzing.

"Yeah, fair," said Shane. "A thousand apologies."

Ryan grabbed one of the random vibrators - it was big, white, and had a bulbous head.

It was also plugged into a power cord.

"That looks like something that you'd clean a sink with," Ryan said, eyeing the thing.

Shane turned it on, and it sounded faintly like a pitched down dentist's drill.

... that was kind of terrifying.

"I don't wanna be around you when you're doing home repairs," said Shane.

He was pushing the vibrator towards Ryan, as the head vibrated.

Ryan was leaning back.

Shane pushed the vibrator against Ryan's shoulder, and Ryan made another surprised noise, drawing back some more.

He was going to fall over, if he wasn't careful.

"Dude," said Ryan, "you need to warn a guy before you do that!"

"Okay," said Shane, his expression flat. "I'm going to press this vibrator against your leg now."

"Well, I wanna use one too," said Ryan, and he grabbed a grey toy off of the bed, pressing it against Shane's thigh.

"Gonna turn it on?"

"Oh yeah," said Ryan, and he licked his lips.

"Gonna turn me on?"

"I thought I already had," said Ryan, and he was rolling his eyes in spite of himself, grinning a bit.

Oh, Shane.

Ryan turned on the vibrator, and it buzzed loudly, deeply.

It buzzed hard enough that the muscles in Shane’s leg were practically… rippling.

“That feels really strange,” said Shane, and then he was pressing the bulbous white head of the vibrator against Ryan’s nipple, and Ryan shuddered, going completely stiff.

Oh, that was… that was weird.

It was digging deep into him, it was sliding along his nerves, it was making his toes curl, his mouth dropping open.

“So how does it feel?”

“It’s, uh… it’s deep,” said Ryan, and his voice cracked.

“Deep?”

“Yeah. I see what you meant by penetrating.”

“I don’t think you could penetrate with this,” said Shane, and he pulled the vibrator back, examining it. “I feel like that would… require a lot of of prep.”

It looked like he was holding an angry marshmallow.

Ryan winced, and then he looked down at the other vibrators on the bed.

The vibrator that he was holding was beginning to make his hand go numb.

He brought the vibrator further up Shane’s thigh, and Shane shudder.

“What’s this?”

He held up an oddly shaped one vibrator.

It was orange.

“That’s a prostate toy,” said Shane. “You’ve never seen one before?”

“I’m new to the world of the prostate,” said Ryan, and he was blushing, just a bit.

“Right,” said Shane. “You wanna try it?”

“How about I use it on you instead?”

“Ryan, you literally just put ice up my butt. I feel like I need a chance to put something in your butt.”

“It’s not a… butts for butts thing,” Ryan said, but he was laughing a bit in spite of himself.

He switched hands, and he shook out the hand that had been holding the vibrator, which wsa tingling.

“Do you really not want me to put it in your butt?”

“... I’m willing to let you put it in my butt,” Ryan said, and he was only blushing a bit.

He was saying that he was willing to have something put in his butt, right on camera, presumably where it would be seen by anyone willing to pay for the Buzzfeed Scarlet subscription.

“Good to know,” Shane said, and he was grinning a bit, looking cocky.

“But,” Ryan said, and he indicated the toy with the bulbous white head, “I can to do what I want with that.”

“... fair enough,” said Shane. “Let’s do it.

* * *

Ryan was straddling Shane’s thighs now, and they were forehead to forehead.

Shane’s fingers were inside of him, fucking him open, and Ryan’s knees were digging into Shane’s sides.

Shane wasn’t complaining, at least.

Ryan had turned off the big white vibrator, and he held their cocks together with his other hand, pressing the head against the tips of both of their cocks.

“When you put that thing in my butt, I’m going to turn this on,” he told Shane.

“Are you, now?”

Shane was groping around for the vibrator with his free hand, and then he was taking his fingers out of Ryan’s ass, carefully, and sliding the bulbous head of the vibrator into Ryan.

Um.

It was full, to be honest.

It was full, and it was… definitely different than fingers or a dick, which were… more to his speed.

He clenched around it, and then he turned on the vibrator.

And then jerked forward, nearly headbutting Shane.

Shane’s hand was on Ryan’s hip, and he squeezed it, hard enough that Ryan might have bruises.

“Fuck,” Ryan said, and he was shaking, clenching around the toy in his ass, his cock twitching like a tuning fork.

“Holy shit,” Shane said.

Ryan’s hand were shaking, just a bit, as he grabbed for Shane’s cock, and then he was… pressing the head of the vibrator against Shane’s shaft, and he had meant for it to just vibrate Shane’s cock, but it was vibrating hard enough that it was also vibrating Ryan’s cock, which… fuck.

Oh god.

“I’m going to cum if you don’t take that off of my cock,” Shane said, his voice thick.

“So?”

Ryan was practically giddy.

“So,” Shane said, “we want this video to be more than two minutes.”

“You could… you could, uh, you could see if you could cum again?”

“Ryan,” Shane said, and his voice was strained, “I’m not as young as I used to be.”

“You can cum twice though, right?”

“You’re gonna need me to be able to cum tomorrow, won’t you?”

“Technically, yeah,” Ryan said.

… and then Shane ruined the whole argument, because Ryan shifted the vibrator, so that it was pressed right under the head of Shane’s cock, and then Shane was cumming, in a burst of fluid and shuddering, right across Ryan’s hand.

“Shit,” said Ryan, in a slightly stunned voice.

“I did… warn you, fuck, Ryan, that is actual torture.”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“... no,” said Shane, and he was turning pink around the ears.

Ryan moved the toy down lower, until it was pressed against the base of Shane’s cock, and Shane shuddered.

“That’s making my pelvis rattle Ryan, fuck….”

And then… Shane was reaching back, to tap on the base of hte plug, and it was a goddamn… fuck, it was vibrating.

It was vibrating, and it was right up against Ryan’s prostate, and then Ryan was groaning, his hips bucking.

Oh god.

The pleasure was… the pleasure was deep, the pleasure was hard, the pleasure was running down his back, filling his whole body, and he was shuddering, as he dropped the vibrator, and it buzzed and buzzed on the bed, as the vibrator inside of him kept him twitching.

“At least I’ve got better stamina,” Ryan said, his voice thick.

Shane snorted, and he made an annoyed noise.

Then he was… pushing Ryan onto his back, so that Ryan’s legs were wide open, and then the head of the other vibrator - the grey one, that Ryan had been playing with - was pressed right under the head of Ryan’s cock, and it was pressing enough to make Ryan’s toes curl, to make Ryan’s hips buck.

Shane turned up the vibrator inside of Ryan, somehow, and Ryan sobbed, because oh god, the vibrations were forcing something out of him, as he arched his back and dug his heels in, and then… he was… oh… god!

Ryan came.

Ryan came like a goddamn fountain, the pressure in his belly jackhammering, his heart beating desperately in his ears, his ass clenching around the plug, his cock still twitching, hard and dripping.

He’d shot nearly to his chin, and he was shaking.

He was trying to catch his breath, but the vibrator was still there, just… prolonging his orgasm, and he was… god, he was still riding it, his cock still twitching, and then he was flat on his back, with cum on his… chin.

What the fuck.

Oh god.

The pleasure was still thrumming through him, and he was… god, it fucking hurt, he was sobbing, but he was still going, he was….

Okay, ow.

Ryan shoved the vibrator away from him, and then he was grabbing the plug, taking it out as well.

He lay on the bed, panting, trying to catch his breath, as he kept shaking.

“You up for another round?”

“No,” Ryan said. “Sorry. I know you’re, uh… you’re possibly raring to go, but I can’t.”

“That’d be a different kink anyway,” Shane mumbled. “So vibrators. Thumbs up? Thumbs down?”

“Thumbs up,” Ryan said, and then he closed his eyes, trying to catch his breath. “Oh yeah, thumbs up.”

“I can’t feel my legs,” Shane said.

He sounded vaguely surprised.

Ryan would have made fun of him, but… well, he was in a similar boat.

Holy fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was supposed to be somnophilia, except it wasn't going, until I got the idea for vibrators, and, well... here ya go. If you'd like another chapter to be somno, though, sing out! I'd love to hear what you guys think!

**Author's Note:**

> Like this fic?
> 
> Want me to write you something similar, or something completely different?
> 
> Come talk to me on my tumblr, theseusinthemaze.tumblr.com!


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